It seems, from everywhere we look, that the goal of life is the emotion of happiness. We will be happy if we are successful financially and in relationship. We will be happy when we have a purpose, we will be happy when we achieve the perfect health and body shape. The pressure is relentless, just keep scrolling your Facebook or Instagram feed to see.
Why then are we so lost amongst the sea of self-help gurus, and motivational speak? Why are we experiencing such a decline in mental health the world over?
It seems that the constant striving to arrive at happiness, is driving us into a vortex of despair. I will be happy when I have that, do that or be that. Comparisons on social media are heightening our sense of failure. Constant pressure to achieve more, have more and be more are the mainstream mantra. This endless striving gives us precious little time to be present with ourselves, our loved ones and our communities.
Perhaps our current epidemic of mental health decline and stress is because we are being sold an untrue story: the happiness myth.
What if the goal is not happiness? But rather the meaningful ability to peacefully embrace and accept all of the emotions that are coupled with the experiences that arise on this beautiful and heart-breaking journey we call life. What if we could look at our suffering through a different lens? Have we even considered deeply enough, that without the experience of sorrow, it is impossible for us to know joy?
We know and experience life through contrast.
Why are we so eager to label emotions as positive and negative, perhaps they are neither? What if we viewed our diverse emotions as threads that weave a majestic, colourful, unique tapestry for each one of us? Out purpose here is so much richer than just one emotion or one experience, no matter how compelling it is.
How beautiful it is to know the darkness of the night so that the stars may shine in all their glory and the moon’s iridescent light may reflect upon the land, enlivening nature in the blackness. How beautiful is it to witness the sunshine as it casts rays of light, illuminating all the shadows that roll, layer and frame the contours of the rich Earthscape below.
There is so much exquisiteness in all this messy life, even though we all suffer. Each and every one of us can not escape the traumas of life. But we can certainly learn how to navigate them. If our hearts are open enough, calm enough, accepting enough, beauty arrives in unforeseen places, and if we are courageous enough to be vulnerable with it all, and share and accept our suffering as well as our joy, how much more meaningful, deep and beautiful our connections become with others and with life itself!
Our difficult feelings and emotions are not enemies, they are portals into the beauty of the beyond. They are waypoints, markers, and energies which enliven our experiences here. All part of the mysterious creative force.
Be at peace with them, even the challenging ones. Welcome them even, surrender them, because nothing can transform without arriving.
“We live between the act of awakening and the act of surrender. Each morning, we awaken to the light and the invitation to a new day in the world of time; each night, we surrender to the dark to be taken to play in the world of dreams where time is no more.” – John O Donahue
In one heart,
Gwen B
Butterfly Wheel by Gwen B
